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inspiration from a yoga mat
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monday's mantra: anything is possible

i was the child at recess who no one wanted on their kickball team.  i dreaded the tortuous process of picking teams, as i knew i would remain the last one chosen.

i was the girl in p.e., who often faked illnesses to free herself from the humiliation that just one class held.  

i was the kid who sat on the bench during basketball
 season - used on the court only as a very last resort.

in high school, i took up running . . . only to discover i had exercise induced asthma.   i tried ballet, but lacked the long, graceful limbs of a dancer.  i even gave gymnastics a go, but was told i'd never reach the level of the other girls who had begun much younger.

so when a group of students asked me this weekend, had i always been able to do handstands? - i had to laugh.

no.  no way.  

in fact, until just a few years back, i was the one who just watched others with envy as i clung to the story of my youth.  me.  this young girl who locked possibility inside walls of doubt and insecurity - finally grew into a woman, obsessed with its liberation.

fear did not evaporate like magic - and to this day, skepticism still tries to wrap its arms around promise, stifling the bloom.

but now, something has shifted.  i don't want to sit on the bench and watch - and i'll risk falling and failure just so i don't have to. 

and what i've discovered is that much of what i thought was impossible - for me, anyway - has become possible.  each time i explore my limits - my limits change.  i have to now wonder what sense there is for me to ever build such fences again.  

because, honestly, there is only one thing i know for certain - i am clueless of what i'm capable of.   clueless.  i can't even begin to imagine what possibility and promise i hold.  

though i do plan on spending the rest of my life trying to find out!


join me this weekend and next, for two special workshops exploring inversions.  the first weekend, we will explore headstand and other basic inversions - and the next will focus purely on handstanding.

find out what YOU'RE capable of!


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monday's mantra: there is no reality - only our perception

our opinions have nothing to do with how the world is - only how we see it.

our judgements have nothing to do with right or wrong - only how we interpret it.

our attitudes are not determined by what's thrown our way - only in how we react.

there is no reality - only our perceptions.






Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
There is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.

Rumi



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living my yoga: pratyahara

i had forgotten about that bulb i'd received at christmas.  the instructions said after planting, i should tuck away someplace cold and dark for a month - bringing it into the light after  its month long hibernation.

in my house, we have an old-style pantry, built right into the wall.  (i think, back in the day - it was meant to be a liquor cabinet.  however we use it to store just about everything from tools to extra boxes of cereal to bulbs that need darkness!)

so there i was, rummaging to find an extra box of weetabix for my morning ritual ... and there i found my bulb.  only it wasn't just a bulb anymore.  it had sprouted a stem about 8 inches long.  

how did this happen in such a cold, dark place?

pratyahara is the fifth stage of ashtanga yoga and offers us the opportunity to turn inward.  to quiet all our senses that we not be disturbed by sight nor sound.  and in detaching from the sensory world,  we find a spiritual energy.  

a blossoming, one might say.

i asked my class last night how many had allowed the snow and the cold to break their normal routines. how many had even been kept from their yoga mat and hunkered down at home.

the hands sheepishly raised.  

its okay, though.  that's what was to be.  there are times we need to withdraw - and should not be so hard on ourselves for answering that call.  we must remember, those times we sit still in darkness ... those times we tuck ourselves away from the outside world ... those times we allow ourselves just to "be" ... we are simply granting our very essence a chance to renew.

our minds fool us and taunt us for being stagnant.  but it is our minds that are the fools.

powerful growth occurs beneath the surface.  a deep energy is cultivated and then begins to grow upward.  so when you emerge, you are strongly rooted and ready to blossom upward ... toward the light.

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monday's mantra: ain't nothing like the real thing, baby

nothing takes the place of a handwritten card, live laughter, a smile i can see, and a conversation that isn't limited by a word count.

nothing.

we now live in a culture where friendships can begin with a texted request - ended with an anonymous UNfriending - and in between, filled with oodles of virtual hugs and smiles, all of which can occur without ever laying eyes on someone. 

consequently, we are dumbing down our relationships and in accumulating masses of facebook friends, we could easily lose touch with facetime friends ... the ones that truly matter.

yoga sutra 1.8:  viparyayah mithya jnanam atad rupa pratistham
illusions formed by perception vs. reality keep us from truth.

and isn't this precisely what virtual relationships encourage?  an illusion.  

a facebook status to let 400 friends know you sat in traffic ... but not one knows the fears that keep you awake at night.

a text message that says hello ... but without a voice attached, you'll never hear the loneliness attached.

pictures posted of a new baby take the place of a visit ... and soon the baby is a toddler.

a conversation begun as we run into each other "on line" ... is brief and meaningless, considering both of us are probably splitting our attention between other conversations, work, and internet surfing.  

i don't want a friend reduced to an avatar and a series of platitudes.  this is an illusion, a shield from ever knowing me and ever knowing you.

today, write someone a letter ... sit down over tea ... reach out with a phone call.

ask someone how they are - with the time and attention to find out.

and i'll take a warm embrace over "hugs" any day.


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living my yoga: reuniting with God

when i was a little girl ... say 4 or 5 ... i knew God.  
i mean - we were close.

like, i remember playing with God.  and talking with God.  i'm even pretty sure God spoke back.  just seemed normal that God was where ever i was, doing whatever i was doing, sharing my thoughts, my fears, and my fun.  

we were inseparable. 

as i grew, i "learned" that to deepen my relationship, i needed to go to a church.  and religion class.  there were prayers to memorize and rules to obey.  soon, long gone were the days when God and i just hung out.   

as a child, i don't think i knew what God looked like, or if God were a man or a woman, or was owned by just one religion.  i didn't know that it was important to define my God nor that others would find it so important that ours were the same.  

and i wasn't real concerned with working my way to heaven to be reunited ... we were never separated to begin with.

but separate, we became.  God was the one i visited every sunday - and later, even less.  God was the one i turned to when i couldn't handle life on my own.  kind of like "my one phone call."  and sometimes years went by when we didn't speak at all.

all that maturity and education only served to take God away from me - not bring us closer.

so when my teacher today says, find God within you.  he says i can find God in my heart and i can curl up there, surrender myself in the knowledge that God is with me, in me - we are one.


"don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's spirit lives in you?"  1 corinthians 3:16

oops ... i guess i forgot.  but i am a child again.  

and i remember.  

the fifth niyama, isvara pranidhana calls to us to surrender.  find solace in a force that is greater ... and bigger ...and closer than we could ever imagine.  and we need to look no further than our own hearts.

there's my God.  maybe yours too.


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this yogini's true practice

we are all programmed to search for meaning.  we look to make sense of our world, sense of ourselves, and ultimately how it all fits together.  

prior to my life as a yogi, i looked toward institutions for guidance:  my church, my education, and my psychological profession.  and each individually, held for me an essential nugget of truth. 

ultimately, however, it was yoga that brought the three seamlessly together.

though yoga is not a religion . . . it is a spiritual quest with beliefs, universally accepted within judaism and christianity, and by buddhists, muslims, and hindus, alike.

yoga is also not therapy . . . and yet, every day, millions of people find self-fulfillment and enlightened moments not on a counselor’s couch -  but rather a yoga mat.

yoga is not a school . . . but i can think of no singular place where i’ve gained more wisdom.  in fact, to borrow a phrase:  everything i ever needed to know - I learned from yoga.

you see, yoga is literally a unification.  and while separately it is neither a religion, a psychology, nor a learning institution, it is an integration of all of the above . . . and so much more.

literally, it all begins with just a few golden rules.  we call them the yamas (how we treat others) and niyamas (how we treat ourselves).  admittedly, none of these concepts are rocket-surgery - but in practice, life changing.  in fact, our very evolution as individuals and as a society depend on our willingness to not just practice yoga - but to live our yoga, as well.

outlined succinctly in the second chapter of the yoga sutras of patanjali, our textbook, you could say - are ten simple practices.  these are a yogi’s “ten commandments” - that don’t involve twisting legs into a pretzel . . . though you can, if you want:

the yamas or do unto others:  

  • ahimsabe kind to others.  a comprehensive, do no harm: not in words, not in thoughts, and not in actions.  and this one rule trumps all others, including the next . . . 

  • satyatell the truth.   “. . . and the truth shall set you free”  (john 8:32)
  • asteyatake only what is yours.  remember playing in the sandbox?  same rule applies!
  • brahmacharyabe respectful and reverent.  though this can sometimes be interpreted as celibacy - and since there is no way for me to clarify with pantanjali now, i will take some liberty to explain.  brahmacharya is a higher awareness in our relationships - one that transcends the physical one.  abstinence may result, but it this is not the intention.
  • aparigrahashare.  anne frank once said, “no one has ever become poor by giving.”  in fact, it is in giving that we may also receive.


    the niyamas or self observances:  

    • saucabe pure.  a shower is nice.  brush your teeth too, please.  but don’t forget, purity also means being cleansed of bad habits and negative emotions.
    • santosapractice acceptance.  contentment - not to be confused with complacency - means we learn to love ourselves with unconditional positive regard.  allowing ourselves to seek happiness not from outside of ourselves - but from within.
    • tapasdo your worksri pattabhi jois reminded his students, practice and all is coming.  yes, he was referring to a yoga practice.  and a meditation practice too.  doesn’t happen by osmosis:  we must do our work and let the benefits unfold in time.
    • svadhyayatake time to reflect.  no matter what your field of work, i bet you studied.  years of schooling to become the person of knowledge and expertise you are now.  become an expert of you.  learn you.
    • isvara pranidhanastay humble.  no matter how big you are, how wise or right you are, how powerful you become - recognize you are not the absolute.  with a sincere meekness, know and honor divinity, that is.
    the meaning in our lives is discovered not by the practice of yoga - but by its embodiment.  in becoming a person, free of jealousy, dishonesty, discontent, and destruction ... and in taking the time to put our beliefs into action with others and ourselves ... we discover who we were meant to be all along.  our true state of being is revealed - one of love and utter joy.

    last lent, i attempted 40 days of practicing yoga.  this year, follow me for the next 40+ days of LIVING yoga.  (if you are interested in following this blog by email, please subscribe in the top left column by entering your email address)


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    monday's mantra: throw off the bowlines!

    twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbor. catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. discover.
    -- mark twain

    once upon a time ... back when i had my 9-5 job ... a desk and an office ... and no gray hair ... i had this quote framed and hung in my office.  it was there to remind me every day not to get stuck in my routine and venture outside those 4 walls that i spent so many hours inside of.

    these days, my schedule is more flexible and my time is less set.  i have long since forgotten the quote that i used to daily evoke.

    didn't think i had to remember.  i was wrong.

    seems with age and gray hair, i have allowed myself to become lulled (and dulled?) into a routine as rigid as the box i once spent my days.

    my excuse?  after 40 some odd years, i know what i like. i know what i'm good at.  i've found what works for me.  blah blah blah.

    so when my friend invited me to go x-country skiing during our recent snowpocalypse, i reacted a bit dubiously:  i've never been on skis

    i know, i know.  hard to believe.  with a husband who learned to ski in austria at age 16 and a house in montana, you would think at some point i would've become interested to learn.

    but no.  and the longer i've gone without, the more extreme the thought had become.

    with a little coaxing, i joined my friend on a snow covered golf course for my very first lesson.  awkwardly, i learned to move my feet in a way i was unaccustomed.  i fell a few times and learned that was not near as troublesome as trying to get back up!  and i felt the fear and thrill of coasting down hills - followed by the realization that i had not yet mastered the art of stopping.  

    it was exhilarating!  and frankly, i may be the only one around hoping for another fresh dusting just so my girlfriend and i can hit the trail once more.  and my eager husband is now planning a winter trip to montana for all of us to venture into yellowstone, perhaps.  

    i have discovered a new world.  i'm ready to leave safe harbor - doing something i'd once only dreamt of.  and now that i've thrown off the bowlines ... i'm truly ready to explore.

    are you feeling a bit stuck?  join me in sailing from safe harbor and try something new!

    * a ship in the harbor is safe . . . but that’s not what ships are built for * 
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    monday's mantra: learn you!

    when the federal government shuts down - perhaps its a sign, you should too.  a snowy invitation to spend time with a person who begs for your undivided attention . . . you.


    as a counselor, i’ve spent much of my time getting to know others, helping others develop their own self awareness.  because through this self knowledge comes the capacity to inspire and the ability to change. 


    but how about me?  all those years as a counselor - and it wasn’t until yoga that i turned my loving attention within.  



    svadhyaya - self study - is one of the chief elements of yoga.  without svadhyaya, we remain a slave to our ignorance, confusing false for the true, and a constant prisoner to our own misconceptions.    


    to quote my teacher, doug keller:  to know your own self is freedom.


    you ever find yourself in the same toxic relationship - different partner, but same story?  how about a job or financial situation?  perhaps it is an injury that always seems to reoccur.  the first step in breaking these destructive patterns, is awareness.  to know your own self is freedom.


    on the other hand, have you yet realized the gift that makes you special?  a dream you hold sacred, a passion that burns bright within, a higher purpose for you and you alone?  to know your own self is freedom - freedom to become the person you were always meant to be.


    i often encourage my students to keep a journal handy during their self practice.  peronally, i find my practice liberates so much of me i otherwise keep tucked away and hidden.  thoughts emerge, some in the form of inspiration and some in the form of just observation.  some are pleasant and some are actually not.  but in writing them down, i allow myself the opportunity to recognize first, then reflect upon them later ...


    ... in solitude and quiet.  some might call that meditationi don’t know that i’ve mastered that art, but i do spend time each day, alone in thoughtful consideration. a time i suspend all judgment with the sole purpose of listening and learning me.  


    and in knowledge - comes freedom.  freedom to become the person i am divinely intended to be - and a person whose company i can enjoy in the empty moments.


    become a diligent student of you.  you won't be disappointed!



    personal coach, carolyn butcher is offering a course,
    every second sunday called self-study 101: exploring your inner life)

    for fun:  take the yoga personality quiz and find out what your yoga says about YOU!

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    monday's mantra: live the questions


    you are so young, so much before all beginning, 
    and I would like to beg you, dear sir, 
    as well as I can, 
    to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart 
    and to try to love the questions themselves 
    as if they were locked rooms 
    or books written in a very foreign language. 

    don't search for the answers
    which could not be given to you now, 
    because you would not be able to live them. 

    and the point is, to live everything
    live the questions now. 
    perhaps then, someday far in the future, 
    you will gradually, 
    without even noticing it, 
    live your way into the answers.

    rainer maria rilke, letters to a young poet

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    the magic of play

    never underestimate the magical power of play.

    this morning, i woke up feeling heavy.  stress, like a dark cloud looming.  

    nothing serious . . . my daughter has exams . . . my son is feeling a little under the weather . . . work is piling and deadlines show no mercy.  

    so i took a little break.  to bring some lightness back in.  to be care-less for just an hour.  to romp.  to play.

    Played: 208 | Download | Duration: 00:01:02



    and something happened . . . 

    exams are still happening.  my son is probably coming down with something.  and work has not magically disappeared.  

    but i feel lighter.  i'm ready to tackle - i'm ready to help.  my spirits lifted and there's a skip in my step once again.

    yep - i'm up for the challenge.  all the tightness in my shoulders has disappeared and the twinkle in my eyes is back.

    so push your work aside and go for a walk.  throw the ball around with the dog.  skip rope.  swing on swings.  do cartwheels on the front lawn.  paint.  sculpt.  make silly faces.  

    i'm telling you - promising you - you'll feel better.  more capable and energetic.  happier!

    15 minutes is all it takes to (RE)discover  the magic of play!

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