once i was blind - but now, at least, I TRY to see

last night, in my friday nite yoga class, i read a story from soul to soul, by gary zukav, during savasana.  it went something like this:


there once was a man who was blind from birth.  never having known what it was like to see, no matter how his friends tried to explain the world THEY saw, the blind man could not understand.  he simply didn't know, what he didn't know.

miraculously, a doctor found a cure and the opportunity for the blind man to finally see presented itself.  after much consideration, the blind man said he wanted to go through with this operation . . . but only on one condition.

he wanted to keep his cane.  and if he couldn't keep his cane, then he'd rather stay blind.

*how foolish* you might think.  silly old man would rather cling to what has gotten him through life thus far, albeit sometimes painfully.  and even with the promise of something better just ahead, the man would rather hold on to what he knows and live his life in the dark, rather than risk being open to a world he could not see

you know what?  we all carry canes.  and our canes come in the form of fears, ego, habits, and doubt.  and because we simply don't know, what we don't know - we'd rather stay blind than give up our canes.

no secret that i practice many different styles of yoga.  not because i cannot commit to just one style, as i am committed to each one, in that moment of practice.  and i DO have my preferences.  but lest i get stuck thinking there is only one way - mine - i continually expose myself to new ways of thinking, practicing, and learning.

making it all the harder for me to go forth, leaning on the cane that i like to carry.

this week in particular, i had to chuckle at the "battle of canes" in each of the yoga classes i attended.

there was the bikram class, where no matter how many times the teacher cued triangle pose with a bent knee, a student kept hers straight . . . probably due to habit. 
*this is the way i've always done it!

there was the ashtanga class, where no matter how may times the teacher instructed side angle with the hand flat to the floor, a student stayed to her finger tips . . . doubt being the culprit.  *my body won't let me move past this point.



there was the power vinyasa class, where it didn't matter what the rest of the class was doing, a student went rogue and did his own thing . . . dare i say ego?
  *let me show you how i think it should be performed.

or finally the flow class, where no amount of help and encouragement could persuade a student to try his first handstand. . . fear taking hold.  *but what if i fall?

lest you think i spend each yoga class watching other people - let me now admit, i have been each of those students. 

i have been the student so rooted in habit, i couldn't even hear the lesson instructed.  not only blind - i was deaf.  i have been the student who so doubted her ability, i wouldn't dare try.  i have been the ego-driven student so wrapped in my own experience, i actually took away from the experience of those around me.  and i have been the student, held back by fear.


these are my canes.  perhaps yours too.


but in order to learn, to grow, to SEE . . .
I had to let go of each and every oneon my mat . . . 

 . . . and off my mat, too.




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