what will YOU remember?
july 12, 2009
when i was 5 years old - my dad had a terrible car accident that would leave him in a full body cast. parked permanently for the next few years, in a hospital bed in the living room of our small baltimore row house.
my mom went to work, which left me - at age 5 - my dad's sole caretaker once i got off the school bus from half-day kindergarten.
and boy did i look forward to those afternoons! i mean, didn't everyone spend long uninterrupted hours in the company of their daddy?!
my dad drew a checker board on the chest of his body cast and taught me to play a mean game . . . bastard never let me win!
i would climb atop his hospital bed, just after making him lunch and tending to his other needs, and there he would teach me how to play poker (penny ante), and we would spend the afternoon reading together and telling stories.
later on in life, our family hit hard times again and money was tight. (tighter than i would ever actually realize until grown).
many nights, we laid our sleeping bags in front of the wood stove and "camped" in our living room. my sister and i thought it was a treat . . . never realizing it was to cut the rising cost of oil.
back then, we had one "night out" a week - sundays. my dad would go out and get us all big ice-cream sundaes - 4 scoops! and we would watch m*a*s*h and barney miller while spooning in gobs of fudge swirl and mint chocolate chip, all smothered in hot fudge.
i don't ever recall otherwise eating out, going to movies, or fancy vacations. but i don't recall missing these either. (of course, at this point, there was no such thing as cell phones, ipods, itouches, computer and video games).
so when people ask me how my kids survive summers here in montana - secluded from their friends. left without any video games. cramped in close quarters, just the four of us. traveling light, and often sleeping in tents.
how i could convince them to spend evenings playing dice and trivial pursuit rather than parked in front of a video game. or how i've tricked them into greedily devouring books in lieu of of t.v. and movies.
all i can say is . . . i'm not sure they notice.
as parents, we tend to believe kids need to have all the "things" life can offer. we supply them with the latest and the best money can buy. but are we truly doing them favors . . . ? i mean, what will they actually remember?
last evening, billy and robert decided to use the last light for some fishing down by the meadow. while meghan and i went for a long walk in the quiet dusk. when we all returned, billy got out the dice and meghan got the score card. penny ante . . . though billy never pays up.
and as we were all cleaning up the dinner dishes, putting away the games, and choosing the latest book to be our bedmate, it suddenly occurred to me how insanely lucky i am.
for if these do not turn out to be their most fabulous memories, i can assure you - they certainly are mine.
when i was 5 years old - my dad had a terrible car accident that would leave him in a full body cast. parked permanently for the next few years, in a hospital bed in the living room of our small baltimore row house.
my mom went to work, which left me - at age 5 - my dad's sole caretaker once i got off the school bus from half-day kindergarten.
and boy did i look forward to those afternoons! i mean, didn't everyone spend long uninterrupted hours in the company of their daddy?!
my dad drew a checker board on the chest of his body cast and taught me to play a mean game . . . bastard never let me win!
i would climb atop his hospital bed, just after making him lunch and tending to his other needs, and there he would teach me how to play poker (penny ante), and we would spend the afternoon reading together and telling stories.
later on in life, our family hit hard times again and money was tight. (tighter than i would ever actually realize until grown).
many nights, we laid our sleeping bags in front of the wood stove and "camped" in our living room. my sister and i thought it was a treat . . . never realizing it was to cut the rising cost of oil.
back then, we had one "night out" a week - sundays. my dad would go out and get us all big ice-cream sundaes - 4 scoops! and we would watch m*a*s*h and barney miller while spooning in gobs of fudge swirl and mint chocolate chip, all smothered in hot fudge.
i don't ever recall otherwise eating out, going to movies, or fancy vacations. but i don't recall missing these either. (of course, at this point, there was no such thing as cell phones, ipods, itouches, computer and video games).
so when people ask me how my kids survive summers here in montana - secluded from their friends. left without any video games. cramped in close quarters, just the four of us. traveling light, and often sleeping in tents.
how i could convince them to spend evenings playing dice and trivial pursuit rather than parked in front of a video game. or how i've tricked them into greedily devouring books in lieu of of t.v. and movies.
all i can say is . . . i'm not sure they notice.
as parents, we tend to believe kids need to have all the "things" life can offer. we supply them with the latest and the best money can buy. but are we truly doing them favors . . . ? i mean, what will they actually remember?
The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. - Thomas Jefferson
last evening, billy and robert decided to use the last light for some fishing down by the meadow. while meghan and i went for a long walk in the quiet dusk. when we all returned, billy got out the dice and meghan got the score card. penny ante . . . though billy never pays up.
and as we were all cleaning up the dinner dishes, putting away the games, and choosing the latest book to be our bedmate, it suddenly occurred to me how insanely lucky i am.
for if these do not turn out to be their most fabulous memories, i can assure you - they certainly are mine.
Thanks, Peggy. I really liked this post. Reminds me how important my time with my girls is and will be when they get older. Also reminds me that even though they complain about turning off the TV sometimes, they'll thank me some day for the things we did while the TV was off.
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