mind your mat-side manners, please
man comes to yoga and places his cell phone on the upper corner of his mat.
class starts.
man's cell phone rings. loudly.
once.
twice.
three times.
finally teacher walks over and - reaches for his phone to gently remind . . .
. . . and he slaps her hand. that's right. you heard me.
he hit her.
in yoga.
to protect his cell phone.
so when my friend patty, asked me to muse, tongue-in-cheek, about etiquette in yoga - i can't say i had to stretch my imagination or fictionalize really, at all.
in fact, since i've written this, i heard a student is now suing a teacher for an adjustment received in class. yea, that should absolutely take up a court's time, not to mention the money of a teacher who barely makes an income. just like bitching about the hot coffee that was hot.
therefore feel free to add *don't be an idiot* to the clauses below:
**MIND YOUR MAT-SIDE MANNERS**
1. Thou shalt not leave class early nor arrive late . . . if at all possible.
You think you’re being sly . . . gathering your mat and towel, tiptoeing towards the door just as the class is hitting all those postures that bore you. (Anyway, this will mean you get first dibs on the showers!)
Think again. First off, you are distracting –no matter how quiet you *think* you are.
Second, you’re doing yourself a great disservice. The beginning sequence is preparation – and to skip leaves you primed for injury. And the finishing poses are meant to harmonize energy . . . so unless you want to walk around the rest of the day twitching because of some short circuit in your mojo, I suggest you unroll that mat and lay your ass down.
2. When in Rome . . . do as the Romans.
You have a beautiful dancing warrior, and your handstand is simply stunning. Still, regardless of your affinity to a pose or style of yoga – save it for a teacher who cares. (Or doesn’t, as the case may be.)
Because while you’re off doing your own thing, I think you missed the point of coming to a class. Regardless of how good it feels to you in the moment, or how much of a putz you seem to believe the teacher to be, remember – classes aren’t just for you. They’re for the rest of us too. And the beat of your own drum is messing with my flow.
3. In sickness and in health . . . hey, wait a minute! We’re not married.
There is no pig pose in yoga. So keep the pig in the pen, and if you are sick - stay home.
4. Ooh, ooh that smell . . . can’t you smell that smell?
Maybe you can’t . .. but we sure can!
Of course, there was the time, as I lowered into chaturanga and I caught a whiff of someone's ripe yogi-toes, or smelly feet, or sweaty clothes left a day too long onthe laundry room floor . . . silently cursing those heathens around me, it wasn’t until my nose hit my own mat that I realized - that heathen was ME.
(Sorry, y’all!)
5. The only bells ringing in yoga should be from angels on high.
Please leave yourcell phones outside the room – turned off.
p.s. teachers - - you are not immune to good manners!
read how bikram choudhury takes bad behavior up a notch!
*The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of my husband . . . who insists that if he is paying for a yoga class, he'll do exactly as he pleases - - - which is probably the reason you've never seen him in any class of mine.
Categories: yoga, down dog yoga
Tags: swine flu in yoga cell phones in yoga yoga etiquette yoga studio rules
Peg, I love your tone on this one...made me giggle! But then again, I pretty much love *whatever* you write.
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Oh my gosh Peggy, the coming late thing to class is so very distracting to me as a teacher. I do a couple of corporate classes and it seems like 1/2 the attendees like to show up after class starts. I don't know if they can't get away from their desk early enough or if they feel the beginning of class is a waste of time. Thanks for the musing!
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