living my yoga: reuniting with God
when i was a little girl ... say 4 or 5 ... i knew God. i mean - we were close.
like, i remember playing with God. and talking with God. i'm even pretty sure God spoke back. just seemed normal that God was where ever i was, doing whatever i was doing, sharing my thoughts, my fears, and my fun.
we were inseparable.
as i grew, i "learned" that to deepen my relationship, i needed to go to a church. and religion class. there were prayers to memorize and rules to obey. soon, long gone were the days when God and i just hung out.
as a child, i don't think i knew what God looked like, or if God were a man or a woman, or was owned by just one religion. i didn't know that it was important to define my God nor that others would find it so important that ours were the same.
and i wasn't real concerned with working my way to heaven to be reunited ... we were never separated to begin with.
but separate, we became. God was the one i visited every sunday - and later, even less. God was the one i turned to when i couldn't handle life on my own. kind of like "my one phone call." and sometimes years went by when we didn't speak at all.
all that maturity and education only served to take God away from me - not bring us closer.
so when my teacher today says, find God within you. he says i can find God in my heart and i can curl up there, surrender myself in the knowledge that God is with me, in me - we are one.
"don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's spirit lives in you?" 1 corinthians 3:16
oops ... i guess i forgot. but i am a child again.
and i remember.
the fifth niyama, isvara pranidhana calls to us to surrender. find solace in a force that is greater ... and bigger ...and closer than we could ever imagine. and we need to look no further than our own hearts.
there's my God. maybe yours too.
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Posted by peg mulqueen at 2/20/2010 6:36 PM 
Categories: buddhism,40 days of yoga,dharma mittra,sutras
Tags: yoga sutras isvara pranidhana niyamas yoga philosophy God
Categories: buddhism,40 days of yoga,dharma mittra,sutras
Tags: yoga sutras isvara pranidhana niyamas yoga philosophy God
I remember my conversations with God as well. I did not grow up under any religion, so as I grew older and came across people of various different faiths I got confused, I didn't understand what my relationship was and that it was o.k. to not be a part of any religion. As a teenager and a young adult I often felt rejected in terms of religion and in many of my relationships I refused to talk about spiritual matters out of fear that I wouldn't be understood. I found in many of my intimate relationships it became a barrier and ultimately something that would attribute to the ending of the relationship. I think one of the things yoga has helped me with is reconnecting in my own way to God without judgement and feeling the light within, loving myself and the importance of that.
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so interesting (i.e. sad) how concerned society is with definitions of God. as if anyone one of us has a real clue! but <sigh> too often, people are judged, shamed, and hurt in His/Her name. thank you for sharing your story ... feels good to be hOMe, eh?
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