on the plane to Montana, i struggled to retrieve my backpack overhead.  a young man stepped forward, much taller and admittedly, stronger – reached over me and handily retrieved the bags i had been struggling to reach.

“thanks, billy.”

yep, it was my son.  my baby - who’s not such a baby.  tell me …when did he grow so capable?  am i the only one who hadn’t noticed?

apparently - yes.

we do that sometimes with people … even with people we love.  scared of losing our own relevance, we try to keep them the person they were rather than the person they’ve become.

you see,  it’s often to suit US.  keeping my son young keeps me needed.  i get to secure my role in his life at the expense of keeping him in a box he is clearly busting out of. 

perhaps you have felt this yourself. in your own journey of self discovery and change, there are those who celebrate your growth … and a few who remain blind and even rather intent to continue relating to you as the person you shed.

maybe you even do it to yourself.  maybe it is YOU who still sees the old person in the mirror.  perhaps you are the one who hasn’t quite caught up to the change that’s enveloped ... staying stuck in a pattern that no longer fits.

my daughter called me a week ago to tell me her religion class had been cancelled – nearly 2 weeks into school. she would be forced to find another class that would fit her schedule, return books, and attempt to find the required text for another class that, of course, has been sold out for weeks.

i was ready to jump into action …  how quickly can i get a flight to Montana? … when Meghan reminded me, “ma - i’ve got it.”

she wasn’t looking to me for my mommy powers.  she wasn’t expecting me to fix anything.  our relationship has evolved beyond that.  she called me as a confidant – as someone who could understand how much this sucks. 

so imagine this – i wasn’t needed … i was wanted.

and that’s what we get when we allow our relationships evolve and transform just as we do as individuals.  into something that is perhaps, better than we knew.

rather than trying to keep a caterpillar in a jar - 

experience the beauty and joy in the butterfly whose emerged.